A diplomat is a man who remembers a lady's birthday but forgets her age.                 

A gentleman is a patient wolf.

A pupil is in the eye of the beholder.

A woman's work is never noticed.

An adult is one who has ceased to grow vertically but not horizontally.

Behind every great woman is a man who tried to stop her.

Behind every successful man stands a surprised woman.

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.

Boys will be boys, but one day all girls will be women.

Death is natures way of telling you to slow down.

Forty is when your broad mind and narrow waist change places.

Hatred is blind as well as love.

He is an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.

He that knows nothing, doubts nothing.

If you bow at all, bow low.

Liars should have good memories.

Love is the delusion that one man differs from another.

Many can bear adversity, but few contempt.

Procrastination is the longest word for laziness.

Prolonged idleness paralyses initiative.

Remorse is the period between one hangover and another.

Some are wise and some are otherwise.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.

The ear tires sooner than the tongue.

The Eleventh Commandment: thou shalt not be found out.

The most difficult secret for a man to keep is his opinion of himself.

The only problem with women is men.

There are more foolish buyers than foolish sellers.

There is nothing so powerful as an idiotic idea who's time has come.

To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but not so popular.

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.

What the eye doesn't see the mind lusts after.

With Schizophrenia you are never alone.

Women who want to be equal to men have no ambition.