I am a Mighty Garage

I am a mighty Garage,

On the corner of the Square,

And it is all my pleasure,

To provide a quick repair,

Or I can do your service,

In the blinking of an eye,

I wouldn’t say it’s thorough,

But it’ll get you by.

If you break down, we might tow you in,

I suppose that’s what we’re for,

Despite the astronomic bill,

It’s still a bloody chore,

We’ll glare beneath your bonnet,

And we’ll reel it off so pat,

Did you know that needs replacing?

And that? And that? And that?

Or we might buy your little car,

For half of what it’s worth,

After we’ve convinced you,

It’s got every fault on earth,

But pass me by and presto!

In the window it’ll be,

As Clean! One Owner! Spotless!

And the price tag that you see,

Will bear no fond resemblance,

To the price in our demands,

When we said how much we’d give you

Just to take it off your hands,

The price will strangely rocket.

And the things we said were wrong,

Without help from the mechanics

Are conveniently gone!

But when the next poor muggins

He comes looking for a car,

And asks a few odd questions,

They won’t get him very far,

We don’t say the sub-frame’s rotten,

Or the whining from the rear,

Is out of the back axle,

And not ringing in his ear.

For I’m such a busy garage,

And my memory is short,

I don’t want people trusting me,

Or troubles of that sort,

We don’t want you dissenters,

Butting into our sales pitch,

We just sit here, on the corner,

Growing big. And fat. And rich.

             By Pam Ayres