A cigarette not butted could mean a forest gutted

A deep-down really hearty laugh now and then is better than any medicine.         

A doctor has a successful practice when he can afford to tell his patients the truth when there is nothing wrong with them.

A duty-free store - where you go broke saving money.

A fool and his money never lack invitations.

A friend is one who knows all about you but likes you just the same.

A friend’s good points will stand by themselves, it’s up to you to stand by his bad ones.                    

A genius is one who only begins to live after he is dead.

A girl could be right when she thinks no man is good enough to marry her.  She could also be left.

A good deed, no matter how small, is worth more than the grandest good intention

A good listener is the wisest of persons.

A lost property office is for people to return things they find and don’t want.           

A lot of us would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.

A man is drunk when he feels sophisticated but can't pronounce it.                                                       

A mans greatness can be measured by his willingness to be kind.

A man who rests on his laurels is wearing them in the wrong place.

A memory is what some people use to forget with.

A politician is one who stands for what he thinks the voters will fall for.                  

A quitter never wins; a winner never quits.

A refreshing speech - "What's yours?".

A stumbling block to some can be a stepping stone to a shrewder man.                

A swollen head is nature's effort to fill a vacuum.

A wishbone has never taken the place of a backbone.

Alcohol preserves everything but secrets.            

All the brains are not under your hat - go easy in criticising others.

Always choose a busy man when you want a job well done; the others haven’t the time.

An excellent survival kit - a well filled wallet.

An important reward for a job well done is a personal sense of worthwhile achievement.

An important reward for a job well done is a personal sense of worthwhile achievement.                                        

An intelligence test often shows how smart one would have been not to take it.

An itchy palm may only signify dermatitis.

As you grow older it’s not so hard to avoid temptation as to find it.

Audacity may allow you to undertake anything, but not to do everything.       

Be careful when you point the bone that it isn't a curved one.

Beauty parlours are like steak parlours - men rare and women well done.

Before you argue with a fool make sure he is not similarly occupied.

Behind a truly successful business man there are many years of non-success.

Beware of half-truths - you may have the wrong half.

Bought politeness always wears the price tag.

By the time most men have money to burn, the fire has gone cold.

Cheap after-shave lotion makes a man with lots of common scents.

Critics are very often people who speak out with the full confidence of ignorance.

Dieting is easier these days. Just eat what you can afford to buy.

Don’t count your pearls before they’re matched.

Don’t get out of your depth in conversation - few people will be willing to save you.

Don’t make excuses - make good.

Drive carelessly and your motor car will only last your lifetime.

Everybody likes sympathy, yet nobody wants people feeling sorry for them.

Experience is the art of not making the same mistake too many times.           

Father of a teenage daughter when answering the telephone; “No this isn’t dreamboat this is supply ship”.

Fixity of purpose calls for flexibility of method.

Flattery is telling other people exactly what they think of themselves.              

Getting up early is simply a matter of mind over mattress.

Girdles are often the difference between figures and facts.

Good deeds are seldom accompanied by big words.

How does a woman over forty look under thirty?  She makes up the difference.

How irritating is someone with less intelligence and more nerve than we have.

Husbands are like the fire on the hearth - likely to go out if left unattended.

If you have the habit of “knocking” you are unlikely to make a hit.

If you should lose your temper, don’t look for it.

If you wish to please everybody, make sure you please yourself first.

Ignorance is when you don’t know something and someone finds out you don’t know.

Ignore the dog that barks, but beware the one that fawns upon you.

Intuition is how a woman knows for sure without knowing for certain.

It’s not making ends meet that’s so difficult it’s making the ends hold still.

It ever happens that when a man has a woman all figured out the styles change.

It gives great satisfaction to be helpful rather than be helped.

It is wise to provide for the things that can’t happen - they’re the things that do happen.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

Many a man who goes off for a day’s fishing doesn’t catch anything ‘till he gets home.

Many a self made man worships his maker. 

Many couples find that the most difficult year of marriage is the one they’re in.

Money talks - and very few of us find it boring.           

Money talks, the secret is to hold onto it long enough to hear what it says.

Most of our problems are settled for us by the stern law of necessity.                     

Most men who die nowadays “with their boots on” have had their foot on the accelerator.

Motor cars produced this year will run into millions - no doubt they will.

Never undertake vast projects with half-vast ideas.

Nothing is impossible to the man who hasn’t got to do it himself.

Nudists are people who suffer from “clothestrophobia”.

One of man’s consolations with old age is that he may now whistle as he brushes his teeth.

One of the heaviest burdens a man can carry is a chip on his shoulder.

Opera is one thing you can sit through and still not know what it’s all about.

Parents who make the most mistakes with their children are most often the ones who make the most sacrifices.

People who rest on their laurels are not wearing them in the right place.             

Peoples minds are like parachutes.  To function properly they must first open.

Philosophy can be summed up in two words: “abstain” and “sustain”.

Philosophy is what you study when you desire to increase your ignorance.                  

Political promises of yesterday are the taxes of tomorrow.

Self Portraits are generally coloured.

Sins of omission are those we have overlooked committing.

So few people carry umbrellas when offering prayers for rain.

Some men keep their word because no one else will take it.

Some people think they are in tune with the infinite when they are only out of tune with the definite.

Some teenagers could, perhaps, be more aptly called parent-agers.

Standing on your dignity does not help you to see over the heads of the crowd.

Standing on your dignity is a very insecure footing.    

The average man wants fair play - with himself umpiring.

The best manager is one who is in love with his business.

The blooming expense upsets many a budding romance.

The chance of a pedestrian getting an even break depends on where the vehicle hits him.

The cheapest slimming exercise is mind over platter.

The current price of cigarettes certainly makes smoking a wealth hazard.

The fellow who takes a helluva lot of interest in his work is the money lender.

The four letter word disliked by so many - WORK.

The future will pay those who are patient with it.

The hardest thing for any young man to learn is that he is so like other men.

The mark of an armchair executive is usually illegible.

The place for the knocker is outside the door.   

The shock absorbers on buses are known as passengers.

The Taxation Department must love poor people - it creates so many of them.

The trouble about being a good sport is that you have to lose to prove it.

The wanting to win is much more important than winning.    

The weekend is when you slow down to let the strain go by.

The wheel was man's greatest invention until he got behind it.

The woman’s work that’s never done is most likely what she asked her husband to do.

There’s a lot to be said for nudist camps.  You can at least tell the girls from the boys.

There may be plenty of room at the top, but there’s no room to sit down.

Those who aspire to a place in the sun must expect blisters.

Those who believe that where there’s smoke there’s fire, haven’t tried cooking on a camping trip.

To be born a gentleman is an accident, to die one is an achievement.                           

Travel may well broaden the mind, but it certainly narrows the bank account.

Ugliness is only skin deep.                                                                                

Use your two ears and one mouth in that proportion.   

Wealth buys leisure, but not wisdom.

When giving someone a piece of your mind be sure it's not the last piece.              

When you say things aren’t what they used to be, don’t forget to include yourself.

When you win the race of “keeping up with the Joneses” you’ll receive your trophy - bankruptcy.

When your income is less than your outgo, your upkeep could be your downfall.

Women can keep secrets as well as men - it just takes more of them.

Women can make fools of some men, other men are the do-it-yourself type.   

Worry is usually a lot of trouble which never happens.

You’re on the road to success when you realise that failure is merely a detour.

You will never have any more time than you have today.

W.G.P. is a gentleman by the name of Willam George Plunkett who worked for the Collins company for nearly 40 years.
He worked in the print room and oversaw the production of the refills. Over
the years he wrote his own quotes and they started appearing in the product.
He died in 1975 and Collins have continued the tradition of including some
of his quotes on a Wednesday. (Thanks to Rodney Quinn for this information).